Summer is plugging along...as is life. The words 'lazy summer days' I believe are there for a reason. At least I feel that. Maybe not so much Dan. He doesn't get summers off.

What am I talking about! I'm a mom! I don't get so much as a day off!!

Well, now, I can go back to sleep after Dan leaves, and wait for my kiddos to wake me. And then continue to snooze while they play. I can leave the dishes just one more day, and use paper plates and forks. It's too hot to wash dishes anyway! I do the laundry, though. One load a day, hung on the line to dry. I like that part of summer routine. But we do end up living out of the clean clothes baskets, instead of putting the clothes away, until we absolutely need the baskets for the new dirty laundry piles. 'Wing it' doesn't begin to embody my style when it comes to meal planning, dinner making and grocery shopping. I'd just have watermelon every day if it was up to me. Oh, yeah, there is that person, though that isn't just sloughing along from day to day. He goes to work eight ours a day, comes home exhausted. He wants a 'real' meal. Oh, yeah, and ice cream or Popsicles does not constitute a side dish...every day. Hmmm....

Okay, so that's been a glimpse of how I see my summer. It's really nice so far. Gardening, park play dates, parties, festivals. Just how summer should be. But I feel like I need an overhaul. I feel like I am in this la-la land of just laziness! It starts with having a baby and everyone, including yourself, saying 'take it easy'. Whew. This is pretty easy. Some days. I am disillusioned to think that. Dishes, laundry, meals, discipline...they don't go away. I don't know that it will ever be easy. I may escape those dishes for a day or two, but boy they come back with a vengeance (and a stink).

So I feel a renewal in my life is necessary. Sheesh, is it Lent yet??? I usually look forward to that liturgical season each year for this very reason. I've become sluggish. I seem to have no will power. It shows in my eating, sleeping, parenting, spiritual habits. I just drift, each day, doing just what I please. Sure, the days are speckled with 'chores', those life necessities that kinda get in the way and are a bother to me. Just so I can get back to what I was doing. Oh, yeah. Nothing. Nothing of notable importance. I'm not writing letters, or sewing, or playing games with my kids. What is it that is so pleasurable that I'm wasting all my time with? Computer, food, computer, a book here or there, computer, computer.

And here I find myself, at the computer.

I've been through this cycle four times now. I have a baby, and it takes time to adjust. I drink in that baby's smile every morning and lounge in my jammies just to try to get another laugh. I make some tea and read some emails. I lounge some more. It is nice. I know I can't really do much till that baby goes to nap. So I think. I just don't want to do anything yet. By the time I'm nursing baby to sleep, I'm on the computer or reading. I lay baby down. NOW, instead of doing the things I should do, that I was excused from doing on account of my baby's presence, I go back to that book or computer. And waste time. Period. And my brain is very soggy at this point. I can only think of the emails I wanted to respond to, or things I wanted to read. I truly have trouble remembering what it was I really wanted to try to do this morning, unless I put it on the list. Then I have to consult the list. Then I have to act on it! Boy, that computer chair is so much easier. Where was that energy, that sense of urgency when my baby was awake?

So while I sit there and joyfully waste time- well, feverishly waste time is the word- I know my clock is ticking. I only have so much time before baby awakes again. Kids start getting more antsy. "Just one more minute!!!" "Don't wake the baby!" 'I need to be done. I've got to do ___ today!' my conscience reminds me. Some days I make it. I tear away, get something done, and feel fulfilled enough...to reward myself with more 'down time'. Other days, I don't. I get absorbed, kids get riled up, baby awakes. Nothing got done. The mood is dismal at best.

Sigh.

So why do I write all this. One, to kinda put on paper for myself the flaws of my days, the errors of my ways. All in an attempt to change them, of course. I've been reading a bit about other moms suffering from too much technology in their lives and how to curb it.

I know, by the blessings of an addition to our family, I've gone through a change in my daily rhythm. I need that rhythm back. I may think I am happy drifting and doing things each day as I please. But I am far happier not drifting. I am far happier being organized, making lists and plans, rising early and working hard, sacrificing junk food for my own health, maintaining a spiritual life each day and sharing in that life with my kids, playing with my kids!! I feel like I could use some spring cleaning on my habits and time management. With those in place, I can better enjoy the occasional 'lazy' summer days.