Things are looking up!

I've had several good days in a row. That's great in my world these days. Ever since my dad died, and we cleaned out the house, I've been in this kind of slump. Hard for me to pinpoint exactly what or why. Well, let's just say this grief thing is just all so weird. The only thing I can compare it to, is feeling like I do when I am postpartum. The house is a mess. Dozens of things, human and non, screaming for my attention, yet not knowing where to direct the attention first. Feeling so overwhelmed I don't know where to start, which in turn makes me feel more overwhelmed. But finally, finally I feel like I can accomplish some things, which in turn makes me feel good about accomplishing more things. It started with a lovely run on Sat. morning. I still felt like I stumbled through the rest of the day, despite the great start. Sunday was very relaxed, as we spent most of the day at a great picnic. It was nice to watch the husband and kids have a good time, and get some knitting done. And of course some great chat time with some great gals.

Yesterday, Memorial day, was the best. I, again, started by running. It was a bit warmer this time, and I reminded myself that if I want to keep this up all summer (which I do), I better wake up earlier to beat the heat. I felt like I had a lot on my mind when running, and as if the exercise was somehow releasing these bad toxins from my body. By way of tears, of course. I just felt very emotional after my run. After my run, we all headed over to the cemetery. Boy, it was so crowded! (This was one of the few days of the year you could leave things on a grave for several days). I was still a bit emotional, and even more so once at Dad's grave. I felt like weeping, but thought I'd better hold it together for the kids. Ah, but they all noticed anyway, and mumbled something about always crying. But it was a beautiful place. It was a beautiful warm day, with a wonderful breeze blowing through. We found Dad's grave looking so nice. You could see all the items family had brought from previous visits. They were several, but not overbearing. And there was the nicest flag in a holder high above the ground, commemorating his service to the US. We brought flag pinwheels and placed them on either side of the flowers. And then we prayed a decade of the rosary. So very nice.

We went on a crazy shopping trip to find pieces we needed to fix the picnic table. I didn't mind too awful much, since I had my knitting with me. Knitting is such a blessing in my life! We got the pieces and headed home to work on the table. I use the term 'we' loosely. I was more or less there for moral support while Dan overhauled our worn table. I did actually clean and inflate the kiddie pool for the kids. I have a love/hate relationship with that pool, so I was surprised I found the gumption to actually pull it out again this year. We put up the EZ fold tent we bought, and stayed outside all afternoon, despite the heat. We had a simple dinner on the new picnic table, and enjoyed watching the kids play on the swing set after dinner.

And then today. I did go back to sleep with Blaise, after Dan went to work. But I managed to wake up earlier than the kids, and do some pilates. Wow! I felt great and just was so proud of myself for finally accomplishing something I've been wanting to do.

And how can I forget the family rosary tonight. That is another routine I hope to continue each evening.

So hopefully the upswing of good days will last. I'm still a little bummed that we didn't plant a garden- for the first time in probably 8 years! I don't know if that window is completely closed, or how much energy I'll put into chasing that goal. I've tried to tell myself, this is just one year, and it's okay. I'm already missing lettuce and spinach, though. Don't know how I'll do later with no tomatoes or cucumbers! Ah, maybe this is just the year to really get to know our local farmer's market!

It's spring...

For me it's not spring till I visit this place. It's Wegerzen's Kid's Garden, one of the metroparks in Dayton.

It was haircut week. That fluke 80 degree weather prompted me to cut all the boys hair one evening. These two jokers are pretty used to the routine.

But this one was a bit harder.

I love his hair and saw no reason to cut it. Except for maybe that 80 degree fluke weather we had in the middle of May. The hot, sweaty matted hair was a foreshadowing of what was to come if I kept it that long.

So I bravely cut away, while Dan held the young'n. I almost cried.

I guess he did enough crying for the both of us. One year old hair cuts are never easy- for me, or the one year old! I wish I hadn't cut off so much. Especially since that lovely heat wave gave way to much cooler weather this week. It was cute how he kept rubbing his hair after I cut it. I think it makes him look younger, not older. And I think the haircut somehow made his cheeks chubbier.

Then there's this joker.

She wanted to get her hair trimmed that night, and I was going to, but we kind of ran out of daylight. So I told her I would take her to (gasp!) the beauty salon.

Yep, I went with her. These are our before pictures (don't know how Rose captured that face).

First time in a beauty salon. Can I just say she loved it.

After careful measurement, our locks were cut and saved, to be sent for use by Locks of Love.

Aaaaand.....

Ta da! Her second haircut in her life.

The final result. We're ready for that spring weather now!

Wohoo!! I'm excited to be joining EF in doing this. A little daring for me, seeing how my knitting is pretty limited. But I have a newfound interest in knitting, and EF's enthusiasm is carrying my through on this! Thanks hubby for showing me how to post the BSJ picture...and get my knitting off to the right start! Gee, he's always full of hidden talents. :)

Tonight ends as it commonly does after a big party here. My beloved is sleeping on the couch next to me, and I am using the last bit of energy I have to blog.

Today was our oldest daughter's First Communion. What a beautiful day, in so many ways. My stress level leading up to this was so high. We have been working steadily all week to prepare for the Sacrament, and the party. And it all turned out so well. What a lovely group of children that received Jesus today. My heart was swelling with pride, and joy, and finally....

And that's were I fell asleep last night!!! It was a long day...week...month. Add in a teething baby the mix, who didn't go back to sleep at 2am like he was supposed to! THAT was one long night. Amazingly, I still got up the next morning, and we are at church very early. I felt very good about getting done what I needed to do , and finally conceded I could always do more if I had more time.

I loved seeing all the pretty girls in white, and how each dress and veil was different, but equally beautiful. I thought it was so sweet seeing them all kneeling at the communion rail, so ready to receive Jesus. For the most part, they remembered what we practiced, and moved very well as a group.

At Mass, after I received communion, I was thinking about my own Holy Communion. I was also very tired, the sleeplessness of the night catching up to me. Thoughts of my dad were abounding, and I was a ball of helpless emotion. I noticed how all these little girls had their mom sitting next to them, and feeling like I should be doing the same (it started out that way, but then I had to take Blaise an nurse him, and walk with him till he fell asleep. Musical chairs in church, as always). So with a tinge of guilt, I recalled my own first Communion. I recall so vividly receiving Jesus, and returning to my pew, and looking down, to avoid distractions as I prayed my prayer of thanksgiving. Somewhere in that moment, I began to cry. Not surprising for me, I guess. :) But it was my dad that was right next to me, and he handed me his handkerchief. Of course, I was right where I was supposed to be. Missing my dad, though.

I put 'weather permitting' on some of the invitations, thinking we just can't fit everyone in the house if it rains!! But as the day got closer, and the meteorologists concluded there would be rain, I just couldn't bear to tell folks not to come! For once, I didn't worry about it, and told people to come and that it would work out just fine. And guess what? It did!!!

The weather was great...relatively speaking. They were calling for rain most of the day, and it did start to drizzle around 12:30 or so. Then it stopped, and didn't come back till about 4:30 or 5, when we were eating...under an awesome borrowed tent. We got to stay outside almost the whole time. The wind made it a little cooler, so we headed inside to open gifts. It was funny, but we all fit in that tiny living room one way or another.

I even finished up the dishes and got to relax with a cup of tea in the evening! Of course, I couldn't have done it without the help of my dear husband, brother, sisters, in-laws, and my mom!!! All were so great at helping everything go so smoothly.

I'll have to add pictures later. I didn't take a single one. Bateries were going dead.:(