Oh, I forgot to mention another sign Rose made. It was a picture of a sword, and said: 'no wepons'

Dan made her take it down.

Rose had a nice long play day with her cousins last Sat. Dan and I went out for the day, and when we returned, we found these cute little notes...all over the house. I saw Rose had made them about a week or so ago. I thought they were cute. I'm not sure where she got the idea for them.

No mudy shuas.

No beeing mesee.

No bottl's

No dumping trash.

her inspiration maybe?

She really likes to draw- princesses, fairies, houses. Her drawings are getting way detailed now. She'll draw each room in the house, and stuff in every room.

She'll draw a 'menu' and pictures of all the food.

She has markers, crayons, and colored pencils, but what she likes best are my ink pens. Especially the non-ball point ones aka the really inky messy ones. I have an endless supply of notebooks for her to draw in, so I don't mind her artistic hobby. She says the only subject she loves in school is art, and she wishes she could do art all day. Problem is, whenever I have her, for example, draw a picture and write a couple sentences to go with it, or her religion workbook will frequently tell her to draw a picture of this or that...she takes forever to do it!!! ('See, Mom, this is where I drew the straps on Jesus' sandals. And here's the loaves of bread, and this guy is holding a fish, and this boy is happy 'cus he's sliding down the hill. And I wrote 'Jesus' with an arrow, because I thought people might think he's a girl). I feel like the meanest teacher in the world when I tell her, really, she's been working on this for well over a half hour, we really have to get to other subjects today. This is the reason we have umpteen birthday and get well cards for people...she never finishes them enough to actually give them to people!!! There's always one more thing!

But it is really neat to see her do something she enjoys so much. Her creativity blows me away. It keeps her quiet for a long time.

I asked Rose to take the pictures of the signs. She included a self portrait, too.

Happy, happy, happy! I'll gladly take this mood swing! I've just had such a good, productive week, and that makes me happy. I've maintained a clean home and got many things done in the meantime in preparation for new baby. It's like I've found a new rhythm. I like it. It makes me happy.

I'm also happy about this baby. I feel like I've had every kind of emotion imaginable during this pregnancy, and I'm liking this happy, anticipatory excitement. I feel like I have more energy, and I don't worry about the aches and pains too much. I'm even not worried about labor! Wow! I remember my pregnancy with Sam, and after the birth, Dan was working ten hour days in Greenville, six days a week. What a strain. I think that inhibited a lot of 'new baby' happiness, and I worried a lot about how I was going to handle it all. With Dominic, I was so scared of labor. I just didn't want to go through labor. I was in denial when I was in labor. It was hard for me to get very excited. And with Rose, I was clueless...and had a weird, not normal string of events at the end of the pregnancy...which, all in all, still left me very happy.

So this time around, now that the stress from the holidays is way past, I've had time to prepare my home for a new life, I am living in that prepared space and hopefulness, it is just a very happy place to be! I have no worries about the kids, and how we'll all work this out, or how I'll get back to school, or, well, anything. Which is very unusual for me. I think it's the comfort of knowing that we're in a good place right now. Dan has a job, is working close, is home on the weekends. He's here. He's dependable. I've really been trying to tighten up on discipline with the kids the last few weeks, so when new baby is here, and I tell them to do something, it won't be as difficult to enforce, they'll know (hopefully!) At the same time, I keep telling the kids ways they can help out when new baby comes. With all the food we've been stockpiling in the freezer, I was telling Rose and Dominic how they could make lunch and dinner! They seemed quite pleased about that idea. I think a huge part is my comfort level with the doc and midwife we've chosen, and just idealizing about the whole 'perfect' birth. I think it gives me a lot of the hope an excitement that I have. And lastly, especially in these last couple weeks, I think it's just been a lot of working hard to make a space for this new life, and after many weeks of sluggishness, it feels good to be productive. It feels so rewarding to look at the fruits of my work around me, whether it be a clean house, or even just a clean kitchen, or a freezer of food, or those newly washed baby clothes waiting in newly lined dresser drawers.

A very happy feeling, indeed. Praised be to God!

Thanks to the extreme generosity of some very kind family members, Dan and I got to go on our 'last date' last Saturday. It wasn't the long three day weekend I had hoped for over New Year's. But at this point in life, it was just right. We left about 12:30p and just went out. A little shopping, a movie (a really sappy, non-violent one :), dinner, little more shopping. It was just nice. We were supposed to end with dessert at the Cheesecake Factory. Who knew there would be a 40 min. wait there, at 9p! So we ended up just getting cheesecake carry out, and going home. Much as I wanted a nice dessert in a fancy place I'd never been to, at a little candle-lit table for two, it was getting late. It wasn't worth it to wait around for forty min. at this noisy, bustling place. (We waited that long to get seated at Olive Garden). So it was nice to get our dessert and head home. Nice to come home to a quiet house, sleeping kids. And speaking of cheesecake, boy they have a lot of them! I had a hard time deciding. I amazingly didn't want anything with chocolate, so that left me pretty limited. I ended up getting lemon raspberry cheesecake. It was yummy.

So that's checked off my list. :) It seems like I get a little more done each day, little closer to being 'ready' for another baby around here. I got my diapers washed yesterday. I got new dipes for this baby. I'm anxious to see how well they'll work. Washing them was easy enough, and they didn't take too long to dry, which was one of my concerns. Tomorrow I'm going to wash my yellow/green bag of baby clothes. Since we don't know the gender of the baby, we keep a bag of newborn clothes in yellows and greens, mostly. It's enough to last us a couple weeks till we get out boy or girl clothes. So I'll wash those up this week and put them in the drawers. Fun, fun.

I'm cooking like crazy this week, too. I went shopping like crazy last week, so now I have all these recipe's swarming in my head of things I want to make. I'm going to double a couple meals so I can freeze them. I'm just happy I figured out what we're going to have each day this week! Meal planning is half the battle for me.

I'm having a lot of contractions. They're not painful or anything. Not even really annoying. Just there. I keep telling Dan that if I want to have this baby, we just need to take a ride in his truck! Boy, that ride is so bouncy! The kids love it, but I prefer the smooth ride of the van.

I've had a pretty good week. I cleaned, and cleaned, and, well, cleaned. I mastered dishes one day, trash and clutter another, and floors another. It's still not perfect, but frankly, I'm tired. And it's good enough. I'm quite pleased with our little home. So that part was good.

I had the joy of having my midwife do a home visit today. It was quite exciting; it has been a while since I've had an appointment with her. I think it was also exciting merely to have a visitor! We've been kinda under the weather for quite a few weeks, and I've let the house go, so it's doubly nice to have a clean house, and a visitor.

The appointment went really well. Everything is looking good. It was nice to hear that baby's head was really low. At the same time, I wondered, if baby's head is so low, why is that rib pain so prominent? I'm so curious how big this baby is going to be!

I got my birth kit in the mail a couple weeks ago. Basic supplies for birth. My favorite was the herbal bath, and 'afterbirth' tincture. I was so excited! This has never felt so right. It was nice to share some of those thoughts with my chiropractor, and have them reciprocated by her.

It is nice all the support I've had for this birth. I guess no one's been brave enough to challenge me on it! They know me too well! Oh well, just another thing to make me even weirder than I am now.

And to top off my week, (I'm holding my breath), Dan and I are scheduled to go out on a day-long date tomorrow. After my New Year's weekend disappointment, I kinda put aside the idea of going out with Dan. Wait, wait, wait. No, it's me. I couldn't put aside the idea of at least a date night with him. I did stop worrying about it for a little while, but as the due date crept closer, the thought of a date night kept coming more and more to the forefront of my mind. So with a bit of conspiring with my dear sis in law, we worked it out to vacate our home tomorrow from about noon on. I can't wait.

Still holding my breath until they're here, though. Sickness has been abounding this past week...with others. Not us this time, thank goodness.

It's nice to be feeling better. Sam and I had yucky upset stomachs Sat. night, well, actually early Sunday morning. We didn't go to Mass, and instead slept a lot of the day. Sam was feeling better and had an appetite, but I didn't feel like eating much all day. Dan was sooo wonderful at taking care of all us. He made a yummy dinner for the kids, and we ended up playing uno before bedtime. I was really tired most of the day, which makes me notice all the clutter and mess even more! It was nice to be feeling better in the evening, and have the feeling of control over my household again. At least the feeling that I could conquer my daily chores again!

Saturday, before all these yucky's set in, we had a nice day out shopping for new faucets. We needed a new one pretty much everywhere in the house, and we found some on clearance. We also got a new laundry sink. We spent last weekend re-doing our laundry room. We put up, well, Dan put up four times as many shelves in that small space than what I had before. It is wonderful. I guess to finish it off, we got a slimmer laundry sink, which we were in need of a new one anyway. Most importantly, My dryer is completely cleaned off. That was my initial goal. Now it's a lovely space to clean tons of baby clothes and diapers! Yea!

I'm getting quite excited that some of these final things on my 'list' are getting done, only making baby's arrival closer and more real. I'm looking forward to our "date day" this weekend. I found that now that Christmas has passed, there is room for more relaxation, and excitement about the baby.

To add to that excitement, I can't thank my sis in law enough for showing me how to make these cute little baby hats (pics to come). It's like one of those 'always wanted to learn how to make these' in my list of things to do in life. I was so excited to get the hang of making it, so I spent all day Sat. (in between trips to home improvement stores and faucet installations) finishing the hat. It went together so easily, and it was so gratifying to finish it so soon. It also had the therapeutic benefit of keeping me busy doing something, where I may have otherwise been upset or anxious, or impatient with...well, life. Sad but true. Kinda like that cute little story about the lady that made doilies every time she was upset with her husband. So I guess knitting rounds and rounds is good for me!

Pregnancy for me is a lesson in patience and humility. Gosh, will I ever get those virtues?! Anyway, in somewhat of a different way, it's really hard being so dependent on others. I've had some really doozy days here, where I'm so tired, and just sore. Sometimes I bring it on myself by overworking- ignoring the signs of fatigue and just plowing through, only to pay for it later. Not as much as I used to, though. I used to be so cocky...believing I was above all the recommendations for pregnancy. I could do whatever I wanted. I'm still a bit cocky, but also wimpy. This pregnancy thing finally caught up with me, and is telling me loud and clear to slow down, or else.

I spent most of Wed. sitting with my sick baby. My two year old had a fever, and needed attention. My plans of going out that day were cancelled, so I settled to do dishes and make some muffins. Not so. My baby needed me to hold him while he slept. So sweet, but kinda hard after the third hour or so of sitting around. I was ready to get the house in order! Ah, there would be time for that.

So on Thursday, I went into cleaning mode. Took down the Christmas stuff, put the toys away, etc. I was still going for an hour after the kids went to bed. I felt good about it-finally being able to organize and have more living space (something I've had to overlook and be patient about for a while!)

So today...sore. All I wanted to do was go out in the snow with the kids. I like to shovel the front walk. I do. Didn't happen. I was going to take out some of the Christmas trash (boxes, etc). I didn't. I did get my muffins made and dishes done, but I was wiped out by afternoon. I had to lay down for a bit. My muscles, well, round ligament to be specific, was aching.

So back to the patience/humility thing. It's sometimes hard for me to be patient. I can ask my DH to do this or that for me, and he kindly obliges, but when they're things on my list of things to do, I feel bad asking him. Then I have to realize that he may not jump to the task as soon as I ask, and I have to be patient.

It's just hard for me. In the past I was so ridiculously independent. I made myself that way. I was hurt a lot by depending on others. I hated depending on others for things...I would just rather be responsible for my own actions- that's it. Not quite so when you're married! I've got a long journey to get this right, and God is always showing me new ways to practice! I'm blessed to have such a patient, understanding husband. But I think it's something I've got to get...didn't Christ say to be like that of little children to enter the kingdom of heaven?

How bout some pictures for this boring old blog of mine!

The day we decorated the house for Christmas! Everyone got a hat!

This was the Sunday after Christmas.

Because this was Christmas Midnight Mass:

I guess just a few random thoughts here tonight. Things have slowed down enough for me to blog twice in one week! Ha!

So Christmas was nice and busy, and I was so looking forward to New Year's. We planned a weekend away while leaving the kiddos with family. Ha, I say planned in the loosest sense. In my lofty head, it meant anything from impulsively flying to the farthest, strangest, newest city anywhere, to eventually settling for just staying home without the kids. Well, turned out to be neither. Dominic had a stuffy nose for a couple days, and crazy me wasn't on the offense to obliterate it. It turned into a barking cough at night, and landed us with a sick kid by new year's eve. Oooo, was I ever bummed. Sadly, it began there, and just kept me down new year's eve, and most of new year's day. I had such an array of sad feelings over everything (pregnancy hormones again?). I feel like I could write volumes of all those feelings. But that's all I'll say about that.

Saturday went better, and we all went out and ran errands in the truck (kids love a joy-ride in the truck). I was so happy that we came home and had an easy meal, instead of eating out. Then Dan, for some reason, was playing around with some of his oldies songs on i-tunes. Before we knew it, the kids were in their jammies, and we were having the best dance party in our little living room! So fun! The kids were just jumping up and down to the music. Sam was the cutest when he tries to jump. Dan took turns holding Sam and dancing with the kids, and I took turns dancing with the kids, then sitting down when contractions would start! It was a great way to end the night.

Rose and I went to Old St. Mary's for Mass this morning. It was funny because we didn't have to leave too much earlier than normal, but just had to drive an hour. I guess I was clinging to that one last thing. Somewhere in the "childless" weekend plan was to go to OSM. We didn't get to go for Christmas. I wanted my music fix. Things changed. It didn't happen. I kinda hoped against hope Dan would just somehow produce a babysitter out of thin air and at least we could go out for a couple hours. Telling him this would've been helpful, rather than candidly hinting. So by Sat. night I was losing hope fast, and figured I'd at least go myself to OSM and do one thing I wanted to this weekend. Don't get me wrong...Dan would've gone, and wanted (I think!) to go, so it wasn't like going alone was a crucial part of this plan. Instead, Dan realized he made a commitment to help out with something after Mass at OLR, and he felt obligated to do it.

Funny how hard it was to leave this morning. I mean, I don't think Dan was in agony over me not going to Mass with him. I was seriously debating just going to Mass with him same as always. We kinda have this unwritten rule that we just do that. I really like that. Very seldom do we split up to go to Mass. Very seldom do we do it voluntarily. And here I was doing just that. I felt almost guilty. Like that feeling I get when I go out to do something I want to- finally a night away- only to see all the kids laughing and having a great time with Dad as I leave. But, but, maybe I don't have to go. I want to stay and share in that happiness. Well that was what it was like this morning. But I went anyway. I know myself. I feel that tugging when I leave, but when I'm gone, things are fine and I am happy to get away for a bit. I know that if I felt this strongly about going to OSM, it's probably not going to go away any time soon, and it's good I take this little trip before the baby comes.

So we went. Rose was great, and Mass was...cold. Yes, it was a frigid 4 degrees this am, but the church was cold inside too. That was Rose's assessment. I, on the other hand, am just slightly less picky. I'll admit it wasn't this great 'Ah-ha' experience I kinda thought it might be. Only because Dan wasn't there. I know. I'm so goofy. The Mass was lovely, and the music beautiful, and the church astounding. I was very glad I had come. It had been a long time since I had been to a Sunday Mass (as opposed to Christmas Mass), so there was a little less grandeur. So anyway, I was glad I went, got out with my Rose one on one, and returned home to two, well, three boys that I couldn't have been happier to see. Had a much better frame of mind and a really great rest of the day.

I feel like in some ways Christmas this year was something we just kinda did to check off the list, and now that it's over am looking on toward other things. I have no doubt it has to do with having a baby next month (yeah! that close!). I felt like we were doing a lot of things during advent to prepare, yet when Christmas came, it turned into presents and family, and parties, and fun outings, and more family, and lots of sleeping in. I feel like I didn't do a very good job carrying over spiritually from advent to Christmas...through Christmas time. Something I'll have to work on for next year.