Autumn daybook

Outside My Window::

::dark. Supposed to be really chilly tonight.

I am Listening to::

::the news. Could do without it, though.

I am wearing ::

:: cotton jammie shirt. Navy sweatpants.

I am Thankful For::

::surviving the tornado yesterday, while visiting with one of my dearest friends.

I am Pondering::

::hmmm...too many things about parenting, marriage, and family. Where this is all headed, I'm not sure.

I am Reading::

::Oh, I miss reading. I need a good book.

From the Kitchen::

::HA! I wish I had something from the kitchen. My cooking skills must be going downhill, or something. I had a passing desire to meal plan tonight. At least I know I'm having some kind of chicken tomorrow. That helps. A little.

I am Thinking::

::I wish I knew exactly how to handle each situation in life. As if there is only one way.

I am Creating::

::I guess I'm supposed to be creating some kind of costumes for this weekend.

Towards a Real Education::

::don't know how real it is. We are doing school every day that we don't have other stuff going on. But we have a lot of other stuff going on. I feel good on the days we do school. I just hope it's enough!

Towards Rhythm and Beauty::

::Little rhythm... or beauty. Well, rhythm is very hard to achieve with all I have going on, but a rhythm on school days is not bad. Rose and Dominic seem to be doing well with their school subjects. Beauty is all around us...outside. We've taken a couple afternoons to rake leaves, clean the backyard, go to the park.

To Live the Liturgy::

::not really believing All Saint's day is so close! Looking forward to the month of all souls. We really focus our prayers on all those departed loved ones.

I am Hoping and Praying::

::for a lot. I've started a prayer list to help me stay focused.

In the Garden::

::Nothing!!!! I finally got out there and cleaned up the rest of the veggie garden, with the children's help. We got the last of the green tomatoes, even bunch of little red ones. We'll see how many tomato plants just pop up next year!

Around the House::

:: the boys ritual of building a 'house' almost every day! Pillows, blankets draped over baskets and chairs and couches. I know it's so fun, but very hard if I can't walk through the room!

On Keeping Home::

::Oh, it's such a challenge. It's laundry week, so there's laundry baskets all over the living room. BUT, I have managed to keep the dishes at bay. It is sooo nice to wake up to a clean kitchen sink.

One of My Favorite Things::

::Autumn. Raking leaves. Cool breezes on sunny days with not a cloud in the blue sky.

Blaise this week::

::this guy's on the go! And I don't know how his sleep got mixed up, but now he's up till 11 and sleeps in till 10:30a. Not used to this. Where's my quiet evenings!

He's making lots more sounds, becoming more interested in food, oh, and has a little cold that keeps him up a lot at night. :(

Got his first haircut last Saturday. Just a trim around those ears so it's not hanging down over the ears.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week::

::mopping the church basement, finding halloween costumes, all saint's day costumes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l6wzxRTVpw&feature=related

I love this song. I first heard it at Mary (Bornhorst)'s wedding. They sang it before the wedding. I loved the simplicity of the tune, and very much like the lyrics. It describes so well how my relationship is with Jesus. The tears, the joys, the trials, the frustrations: He's always there.

Surrounded by laundry. Stacks of papers, with bills buried somewhere in there.

But I want to write. I miss blogging.

Things finally settled down a bit. I still feel like I have way too many things to do this year, but somehow I'm muttling through. I mean, things are going well. I seem to get the hang of school a little better. Some days are still better than others, but overall, I feel like I know what I should be doing, which is huge. I'm getting the kids to help with chores, so I don't feel like I'm drowning in them. I'm actually getting dishes done most every night, which makes waking up to a clean kitchen a happier thing. And I'm actually exercising. Baby steps...but I am doing it! So there's all the good that's going on. I'm thinking of nothing else tonight! :)

So I was at church today. Went down there when Dan got home from work to, um, amend, the new hymnals. I thought I'd be there about an hour, and I was. I thought of it as a 'working' holy hour. I was secretly so excited!!! I did not expect to see anyone, but honestly wasn't surprised to see Fr. We chatted for a few minutes, and he went to the sacristy. I moved to the back of the church. When I looked up after a bit, there were two candles lit by the BVM altar. I thought it looked so pretty. The church itself was fairly dark up front. The setting sun glowed through the stained glass windows, creating the most beautiful light by which to work. I kept working. When I looked up again, there was Fr. celebrating Mass on that side altar. I immediately felt out of place. The work I was doing was made some sound in the silent church, so I felt like I was being disrespectful. After pausing a moment, I concluded I needed to keep working, and that if there was a problem, Fr. would've told me. I still felt a little weird. But also very joyous. I felt so privileged to witness this beautiful, quiet Mass.

At the end of my work, I sat a moment, staring at the altar, the tabernacle. My mind cast back on the so many times I have done just that. Sat there in the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Poured my heart out to Him. Cried tears of joy, and pain. I thought tonight, how I truly do depend on Jesus, as a part of my life. I love the familiarity of making a visit to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, and the deep reality that He is there, waiting, listening, loving me all the time.

It was a wonderful way to spend my Tuesday evening. I came home refreshed from the bit of a break from the daily grind. I felt accomplished because I finished what I set out to do. I felt energized, and excited to go home to my family and make a late dinner. Yes, you read that right: energized and excited to make dinner....late. :) I think that was because of Jesus. :) I definitely need to do that more often.

When filling in the spaces on Sam's chore chart, he tells me to write ' not want to' !

Just had to keep this to look back on and laugh. Love, love, love that kid. Loved all my kids at that 2/3 age, when everything is new, and exciting, and they have boundless energy, and the things they say are so adorable. Thank you, God for toddlers!

I have nothing exciting to post. I am just busy, busy, busy.

I think I am spreading myself pretty thin this year. I knew September was going to be crazy, but now October seems even more so! I'm lost as I search for some kind of rhythm.

I had a ridiculously stressful last two weeks. I was doing school, and kinda falling apart. I was so stressed out trying to find my way through school, while drowning in dishes and laundry. I want to refuse it's because of my outside activities. I have taken on a lot. I'm not sure what to do about that. I guess I feel like I can still do it all. But I have a baby. He's teething and doesn't sleep well. He makes school days, and housework more difficult. Although I feel like I can do it all, I need to realize that these little ones...my vocation...that seem to just get in the way ARE my way. I'm losing sight of things when I'm so focused on a schedule or pushing through, instead of focusing on my family!