Surrounded by laundry. Stacks of papers, with bills buried somewhere in there.

But I want to write. I miss blogging.

Things finally settled down a bit. I still feel like I have way too many things to do this year, but somehow I'm muttling through. I mean, things are going well. I seem to get the hang of school a little better. Some days are still better than others, but overall, I feel like I know what I should be doing, which is huge. I'm getting the kids to help with chores, so I don't feel like I'm drowning in them. I'm actually getting dishes done most every night, which makes waking up to a clean kitchen a happier thing. And I'm actually exercising. Baby steps...but I am doing it! So there's all the good that's going on. I'm thinking of nothing else tonight! :)

So I was at church today. Went down there when Dan got home from work to, um, amend, the new hymnals. I thought I'd be there about an hour, and I was. I thought of it as a 'working' holy hour. I was secretly so excited!!! I did not expect to see anyone, but honestly wasn't surprised to see Fr. We chatted for a few minutes, and he went to the sacristy. I moved to the back of the church. When I looked up after a bit, there were two candles lit by the BVM altar. I thought it looked so pretty. The church itself was fairly dark up front. The setting sun glowed through the stained glass windows, creating the most beautiful light by which to work. I kept working. When I looked up again, there was Fr. celebrating Mass on that side altar. I immediately felt out of place. The work I was doing was made some sound in the silent church, so I felt like I was being disrespectful. After pausing a moment, I concluded I needed to keep working, and that if there was a problem, Fr. would've told me. I still felt a little weird. But also very joyous. I felt so privileged to witness this beautiful, quiet Mass.

At the end of my work, I sat a moment, staring at the altar, the tabernacle. My mind cast back on the so many times I have done just that. Sat there in the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Poured my heart out to Him. Cried tears of joy, and pain. I thought tonight, how I truly do depend on Jesus, as a part of my life. I love the familiarity of making a visit to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, and the deep reality that He is there, waiting, listening, loving me all the time.

It was a wonderful way to spend my Tuesday evening. I came home refreshed from the bit of a break from the daily grind. I felt accomplished because I finished what I set out to do. I felt energized, and excited to go home to my family and make a late dinner. Yes, you read that right: energized and excited to make dinner....late. :) I think that was because of Jesus. :) I definitely need to do that more often.