Of Fire, and life

After living in our new home for six months, I finally feel like I can hang pictures, or curtains, or something.  It's finally starting to feel a bit more like a home, less like a burden.
We didn't get finished all the things we wanted to this summer.  After a much-needed vacation of sorts in July, August was to be dedicated to 'finishing' the basement.  Ah, but then Dan and I had the classic conversation about this task ending up something like this:
Dan: "The basement is not even on my list of things to do right now!"
Me: "The basement IS my list!!"
I was secretly a bit relieved.  School planning was consuming me, and I desperately wanted to get off on a good foot with school this year.  The basement would have to wait.
The fall projects we had in mind have also taken a back seat.  Dan's now working 10, soon to be 12 hr. days.  Today is day 19 he's worked. No days off.
The transition has been difficult, to say the least. Getting up so early, going to bed much earlier, getting through dinner and sometimes bedtime with no helper has made for some long day.  Throw in some nausea and fatigue (oh yeah, baby no.6) it sure was like a hit with a cannonball!  I didn't realize how much I depend on my beloved to help me out with even the smallest things in order to keep our lives running smoothly.
So today I am thanking God over and over for those little things.  It's taken me a little while to get there. After throwing enough fits over Dan not being home and feeling just so yucky every day, and realizing the kids aren't just going to magically go away when I want peace and quiet, somethings had to change.
Confession was a must. Always a must.  Always forgotten grace to be tapped into.  So healing, and just perfect.
Trying to eat better so I don't feel so yucky.  Kinda obvious.   There's something about a pregnant brain, and stomach too, that mimics insanity.  Now meal planning: that would be the magical cure!  Working on that.
One of the joys I have found in the last week was simply our wood burning stove.  It's an insert in our fireplace.  When we moved, we asked the owner if he ever used it to heat the house, and he said he tried, and it didn't really make a difference.  We used it occasionally last winter, more for novelty.
We hadn't turned the furnace on yet this fall.  We were doing school on day and we were all kind of chilly.  I  was bracing myself, not looking forward to another winter like last year.  One of the unexpected things of this house from the day we moved in was how cold it was. Every. Day. And I generously donated most of my sweaters before we moved.  (I never wore them at the other, warm, small, cozy house!)  So this particular morning, I thought, this is just how it is- chilly.  I noticed the temp was around 62, and I had this thought of when we are supposed to turn the furnace on. Thankfully, that evening, Dan did just that.  Except it didn't turn on.  Well, of course not.  That is how our life has been for the last six months.  Nothing has been the way it's 'supposed' to. So of course, the furnace wouldn't start.
Enter our wood burning stove.
We had to use it.  The temps at night were going to dip down to freezing in a few days.  We had to do something.  We had lots of wood (thank God!) we happened upon this past summer, much of it already split. It was a bit tricky, but Dan started the fire, with not too much smoke in the house. The result: amazing!!!  For the first time ever in this house, I knew there was a place to go to be warm!!! And the heat it put off was so wonderful!  I was thrilled to have such a spot in the house, but skeptical it could really make the house warm.  Lets just say, I love waking up every morning to check and see where the temperature is.  It's almost always at 70 or above. I'll take that over 62 any day!!!  Yes, the living room is the warmest room, and it does get cooler the farther away you get.  Upstairs is still pretty chilly.  The kids all have warm blankets and insist they're hot at night.  I notice Joseph almost sleeps through the night now, and I sleep soo much better as well.
I'm not sure why I find such joy in this stove.  Maybe it's the fulfillment of a nostalgic dream to live a somewhat primitive way.  Maybe it's because we succeeded where the previous owner failed at making it 'work'.  Maybe it's because we can heat our home comfortable for NO cost!  Maybe it's because Dan got good at tweaking it so it really is so simple to maintain.  Much more simple than I thought. Maybe it keeps me warm when I'm cold. :)
And lastly: I saw how Dan annoyingly started the fire each time he had to do it.  I mean start it from nothing.  It's easy to keep the fire going, but to start it is a bit tricky.  Well, especially when we don't have the best kindling yet.  So anyway, I knew I would have to do this at some point, so I was trying to observe closely.  Sure enough, that time came yesterday.  We had gone to co-op all day, and I  didn't really keep the fire burning much while we were gone.  So I was praying when we got home there would be enough embers for me to just throw another log on.  There were embers.  Like, three of them.  Ugh. I started with a little wad of paper, and then some cardboard, and then a log. Shut the doors and hoped it would work.  There was a lot of smoke. It's a little different than a bonfire outside. Here, everything is in your control: heat, air, fuel. You have to tweak what you need more of to make a good fire. (What a science lesson!)  More air. Open the vents.  Sure enough, like magic, I can see through those little vents the orange glow of a fire.  I did it!!  I didn't need to start it from scratch!  Those three little embers turned into a 'roaring' fire!
God, what were you telling me in all this??? I just instantly kept thinking about how small those embers were.  Yet, how hot, and on fire they were.  They had every bit the potential to start that whole fire.  Ah, like our souls. Our faith, our hope, our charity.  We have all the potential for virtue in us to praise and glorify God through our humble daily lives.  If that great fire is possible from those few small embers, what greatness is possible for us, with small fire that burns in us?  I pray I have that love for Christ, that small ember that never ever goes out, so he can help to transform it into a roaring fire of love for Him.